A great question this week I git asked this week — Hey Steve, you seem relatively calm and composed. How do you stay like that around stressful situations running a fitness facility with staffing issues or member complaints?

So I wanted to write down a couple of notes here because it’s definitely not one thing and I want to also just lead by saying this I feel like is a bit of a muscle as in the ability to manage stress and make decisions and things I think is something you get better at with repetition and practice.

And it’s something that I’m gonna continue to try and improve on but I appreciate the compliment I hope that you know that sort of calming influence is a positive one around my staff. I’m hoping that my family and my staff feel more confident in my ability if I’m not sort of flying off the handle and quick to anger I’m hoping that yeah it nicer. I’m nicer to be around and the atmosphere at work and at home is a bit more enjoyable if I can be a bit more composed so that’s why I try and do it.

How I do it is the first thing I try and do is breathe, and it sounds ridiculous, but I think as a challenge kind of arises the first thing to do is actually just give yourself a moment. Rather than just responding on impulse, the first like rubbish that comes to your head if that jumps out of your mouth I think you’re going to have a problem. So the the first one is just take a moment and have a second to breathe and get your composure. 

Number two is I try and really clarify what the challenge or the problem is. And I think in a lot of cases it’s not that obvious, so sometimes if you think of like an injury for example, if you went to a physiotherapist and you walk in and you say you know I’ve got a sore back. Through further investigation they might find that you have like a tight hamstring or they might find that you’ve actually got a bit of a pelvic tilt or something which is causing your back to hurt so before I start to try and figure out a solution or you know problem solve or you know anything that that might happen after that. I want to try and get clear on what is the problem that we’re trying to actually solve here and that sometimes requires more questions or more sort of Investigation.

Number three I always find that like walking and blood flow and oxygen is great for sort of creative thought and stimulating like some Innovative or some type of problem solving sort of energy so I’ll often leave my office I’ll go and get some fresh air. I’ll walk and the best ideas come while I’m actually moving.

Number four, I like to consider you know who in my Mentor or support network might have some feedback and rather than sort of just going around in circles based on my own experience or lack of I might try and tap into someone who has more experience than me and say hey this is the scenario. What do you think and that might involve you know heading for. A walk with them, might be coffee, it might be having a beer or something like that what are we up to. 

Number five I try and think about my team so once I’ve identified the challenge and the actions, we need to take I’m considering like who in my team is good at this stuff. Who could potentially help me to action something or to make change or to sort of improve this situation so it’s helping me to feel composed and less stressed because I have a bit of a mental framework of how I’m going to handle all problems and challenges. Like these steps that I’m sort of giving you and I guess at the back of my head like it’s nice knowing that at the end of the day in a lot of cases I don’t actually have to fix this all by myself. There’s people that can sort of provide direction or advice or even take the challenge off my plate and might be better experienced or better equipped to actually handle it themselves.

Number six, would be gratitude. So I try and start the day with three gratitudes. I think about the things in my life that I really enjoy, the things that are going well that are like working and I think that helps to just add some perspective. As a business owner, as a parent, you’re going to face challenges throughout the day and I think if you start on that negative email or something like that, it affects your output and your ability to function at your best throughout the day it’s always always always always start with gratitudes. And I find that gives me like a a strong grateful foundation for which I or a lens for which I see the rest of the day. If I start in gratitude and a challenge arises, my perspective and my optimism and my belief in myself is higher as I as I face that challenge than it would have been if I sort of just started with someone else dictating what the negative solution or something could be.

Number seven, I think the quality of the people you surround yourself with affects your stress level and your happiness level. Quality of your relationships these people’s supportive of you are they are they genuinely interested in you I also consider topping up the bank account. I think it’s like Michael Phelps The Olympian swimmer that talks about he has to look at a workout as investing into the bank account because he said if you get to an event no one else was doing like eight events in one in one go so he expected that was going to fatigue his body far more than someone doing one event or two events at the Olympics on their own. So what he said is you had to start investing into the bank account. You had to start doing these sessions and the nutrition required and the mindset coaching you had to just keep investing into your bank account so that when you actually got to the Olympics to compete in eight and and win eight gold medals a record uh in history the actual money is already in the bank account it’s not a fluke. It’s based on the stuff you’d already put in there and for me that bank account is the books I read, it’s the podcast, it’s the YouTube clips,  it’s the business coaches I have that’s making sure that I continually invest in not only like that positive headspace but I continue to grow myself and my skill set but also my experience level.

So to sum up, I know it’s a little bit long-winded. I apologize for that but I hope it helps. Great question how do you stay calm and composed as a gym owner when others feel are so stressed and they take home their challenges and they’re at barbecues complaining about their lifestyle and the financial but that’s one way to do it and it’s definitely not for me and it’s something that I wasn’t born with it’s definitely a skill set but I if that helped I worked my way through that model step by step starting with you know breathing, clarifying the problem and then I find knowing that I have the model keeps me calm but also having steps in there I can get other people involved uh and just following a process is far less stressful than trying to come up with some magic solution that you’ve never done before so that’s what I would recommend good question